So, you're banging a married man. Rules to live by.
First off, I am not judging anyone for anything. I'm just offering some advice if you find yourself in a situation. I have found myself in this position and learned the hard way how to survive it! Keep in mind I am saying this from a single, straight woman's point of view.
There are two types of relationships you can have with a married man.
#1 - The Mistress
#2 - The Booty Call
Let's talk about each of them.
The Mistress
When you're the mistress, you get an actual relationship. You get the dates, the gifts, the 'I love you's', the weekend getaways and the promises of a wonderful life together. You also get lies, deceit & frustration. Here's how it all starts out. You've met someone and he seems perfect. You go out to dinner and get talking about your lives - what you do for a living, etc, etc. He kisses you on the cheek to end the evening. He calls you the next day and asks when he can see you again. Next thing you know, your on your third or forth date and then he makes love to you. Makes you feel like you are the only woman in the world and you feel things you have never felt before. 2 or 3 dates later, he tells you that he has a wife. They don't get along, she's horrible and nasty to him and he fully plans to leave her because he's fallen in love with you. He can't do it right away because of the kids. He doesn't want them to grown up without both parents. By this point you are hooked. At first you're mad, hurt but you're hooked so you believe him. You want so badly for what you're feeling to be real so you tell him you'll wait for him and that this will be OK for now. This can go on for months or years. One thing you always have to remember - the truth always comes out in the end.
Let's be honest here. No matter how mean and nasty etc that the 'wife' is, it doesn't justify lying and cheating. You don't want to be with your wife, leave her. If you haven't got the balls to cut that tie - you aren't the man I want. And seriously, how much can you really trust him? If he is willing to cheat, lie and sneak around behind her back, he'll be doing it to you too - eventually. Now don't get me wrong, there are some situations that this stuff happens and the 'wife' is mean and nasty and seriously unstable. However just because your wife and her family are the holders of the cash, etc - not a valid reason. If you are miserable, leave. It's actually easier than it even sounds. Grow some balls, pack a bag and GO! You know within the first few years of your marriage if you're unhappy. Don't be a pussy - do something about it. There's no such thing as being 'trapped' in a marriage (remember - we're only talking about cheating). There's always a way out and cheating and lying ain't it.
Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation. RUN. He WILL hurt you. He is NOT being faithful. You may be his only mistress, but you're not the only one he's banging. You can bet your ass on that. Not all men are scummy like this, however the ones that are give all men a bad name. Even if he does leave his wife for you - which rarely happens - it'll be easier for him to cheat the next time. Keep your guard up. If he lied and cheated to be with you, he'll do it to you too. Also, if the 'wife' finds out - it's over. 9 times out of 10 he will run back either begging for forgiveness or calling you a crazy person saying it never happened. Always keep the proof. You'll need it for your own sanity.
The Booty Call
When you're the booty call - that can be exciting. You have to keep your heart out of it though. It's got to be based purely on S.E.X. and nothing else. Raw, hardcore, unadulterated fucking. If you can keep your heart out of it, you can enjoy it. It doesn't make you blameless in the long run. In this situation there is no dating, dinner, 'I love you's', promises of a new life together or jealousy and frustration. Well, it's a different kind of frustration I guess. Sometimes it's an itch that just needs to be scratched - so to speak. Seriously, if there's any itching you need to go to the doctor. LOL! When the 'wife' finds out about this, it's over as well.
One thing I should probably mention is that there is the combination of the two. That is the relationship that he is in and you treat him like a booty call. You get the benefits but none of the heart ache. This basically makes you a hooker. You're getting paid for services rendered. He gives you pretty, shiny things or cash and you fuck him.
In the end, it never gets you what you want really. Well, unless you're out to get paid. As The Mistress, you'll get hurt - your heart will be broken and you'll be full of anger. As The Booty Call, eventually the sex isn't as fulfilling as it started as. Again - the truth always comes out in the end. Best to end it on your terms now instead of getting sucked into a make believe world of lies and deceit and promises that he'll never keep.
Love & Muffins
XO
There are two types of relationships you can have with a married man.
#1 - The Mistress
#2 - The Booty Call
Let's talk about each of them.
The Mistress
When you're the mistress, you get an actual relationship. You get the dates, the gifts, the 'I love you's', the weekend getaways and the promises of a wonderful life together. You also get lies, deceit & frustration. Here's how it all starts out. You've met someone and he seems perfect. You go out to dinner and get talking about your lives - what you do for a living, etc, etc. He kisses you on the cheek to end the evening. He calls you the next day and asks when he can see you again. Next thing you know, your on your third or forth date and then he makes love to you. Makes you feel like you are the only woman in the world and you feel things you have never felt before. 2 or 3 dates later, he tells you that he has a wife. They don't get along, she's horrible and nasty to him and he fully plans to leave her because he's fallen in love with you. He can't do it right away because of the kids. He doesn't want them to grown up without both parents. By this point you are hooked. At first you're mad, hurt but you're hooked so you believe him. You want so badly for what you're feeling to be real so you tell him you'll wait for him and that this will be OK for now. This can go on for months or years. One thing you always have to remember - the truth always comes out in the end.
Let's be honest here. No matter how mean and nasty etc that the 'wife' is, it doesn't justify lying and cheating. You don't want to be with your wife, leave her. If you haven't got the balls to cut that tie - you aren't the man I want. And seriously, how much can you really trust him? If he is willing to cheat, lie and sneak around behind her back, he'll be doing it to you too - eventually. Now don't get me wrong, there are some situations that this stuff happens and the 'wife' is mean and nasty and seriously unstable. However just because your wife and her family are the holders of the cash, etc - not a valid reason. If you are miserable, leave. It's actually easier than it even sounds. Grow some balls, pack a bag and GO! You know within the first few years of your marriage if you're unhappy. Don't be a pussy - do something about it. There's no such thing as being 'trapped' in a marriage (remember - we're only talking about cheating). There's always a way out and cheating and lying ain't it.
Ladies, if you find yourself in this situation. RUN. He WILL hurt you. He is NOT being faithful. You may be his only mistress, but you're not the only one he's banging. You can bet your ass on that. Not all men are scummy like this, however the ones that are give all men a bad name. Even if he does leave his wife for you - which rarely happens - it'll be easier for him to cheat the next time. Keep your guard up. If he lied and cheated to be with you, he'll do it to you too. Also, if the 'wife' finds out - it's over. 9 times out of 10 he will run back either begging for forgiveness or calling you a crazy person saying it never happened. Always keep the proof. You'll need it for your own sanity.
The Booty Call
When you're the booty call - that can be exciting. You have to keep your heart out of it though. It's got to be based purely on S.E.X. and nothing else. Raw, hardcore, unadulterated fucking. If you can keep your heart out of it, you can enjoy it. It doesn't make you blameless in the long run. In this situation there is no dating, dinner, 'I love you's', promises of a new life together or jealousy and frustration. Well, it's a different kind of frustration I guess. Sometimes it's an itch that just needs to be scratched - so to speak. Seriously, if there's any itching you need to go to the doctor. LOL! When the 'wife' finds out about this, it's over as well.
One thing I should probably mention is that there is the combination of the two. That is the relationship that he is in and you treat him like a booty call. You get the benefits but none of the heart ache. This basically makes you a hooker. You're getting paid for services rendered. He gives you pretty, shiny things or cash and you fuck him.
In the end, it never gets you what you want really. Well, unless you're out to get paid. As The Mistress, you'll get hurt - your heart will be broken and you'll be full of anger. As The Booty Call, eventually the sex isn't as fulfilling as it started as. Again - the truth always comes out in the end. Best to end it on your terms now instead of getting sucked into a make believe world of lies and deceit and promises that he'll never keep.
Love & Muffins
XO
so accurate!
ReplyDeleteVery well said! Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete